


Sweet and Sour

by Sorceted



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Autistic Akehoshi Subaru, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Meltdown, Mental Breakdown, actually i think that a more accurate tag would be, anyway subaru gets overstimulated and its an ordeal, but it's not super graphic or whatever its just Neurodivergence Bullshit, but thats not a tag on here so :/, i haven't uploaded anything to the archive in years. how do i tag things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2020-07-31 07:10:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20111179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sorceted/pseuds/Sorceted
Summary: or: subahokke go on a café date but really it's me, projecting,





	Sweet and Sour

_ clink _

_ giggle _

_ scrape _

The couple one table over on Subarus left side is _ annoying _. Subaru himself knows that this is not a nice nor constructive way to think about other people- He’s learnt as much throughout his 17 years of being scolded for it- but he can’t help it with how the guy keeps dragging his spoon across the plate, creating a noise that for everyone else drowns in the quiet chatter of the café, but makes every single hair on Subarus body stand on end.

Hokuto sits across from him, sleeves of his hoodie pulled up as he giddily digs into the limited-time dessert that he’d been hearing good things about for weeks before finally asking Subaru to come with him to the only place in town that serves it. Subarus own dessert, however, sits sadly and barely half eaten- despite it’s owner’s usual love of sweet treats- on its plate in front of him.

To Subaru, the silverware that’s currently twirling between his fingers is way more interesting. Hokuto had long since given up trying to stop him from spinning his pen during class, despite the gaudy sticker-clad thing sending scattered reflections of sun right into his eyes, so the habit ended up carrying over into Subarus free time as well. 

There’s a group of friends laughing over by the window of the shop. Subaru feels bad for wishing that he wasn’t here.

He pokes at the prongs of the fork, barely wincing as they leave indents in his fingertip. It helps drown out the metallic scraping if just for a second, and so Subaru flicks at them again. He feels his foot tapping on the floor, stops it, forgets to keep stopping it, and catches himself tapping again. A pretty small and not _ super _ annoying noise, he thinks, but judging by the itching in the back of his neck, it seems the other customers in this area of the café don't agree.

Subaru’s used to being looked at funny. It kind of comes as a package deal with being an idol, especially one that’s weird and smiley all the time and who has a famous-but-dead-dad. Nothing new, nothing scary. But the sensation of itching on the back of his neck refuses to fade, and Subaru knows that even if he clawed at it until the underside of his painted- but hopelessly chipped- nails were stained with red, it would only earn him more looks instead of less itching. 

_ clink _

There’s a loud whisper at one of the tables behind him, followed by fake gasping and shushes at the whisperer to “come on, shut up~”, clearly spoken through stifled laughter. 

_ shuffle _

Sitting straighter up in his seat doesn’t help. The fabric of his shorts dig uncomfortably into his skin, feeling scratchier than whatever material they’re made of has any right to be.

_ scrape _

He realizes he’s been clenching his fist around the fork. 

The blistering red half-moons on his palm don't even sting a little.

He picks at his skin briefly, before remembering the promise he made to Sari about not doing that and instead snapping the rubber band around his wrist once.

Twice.

Three times.

It’s like he can hear every chew in the room at once, every single disgusting noise in the area shoving itself in his ears and lumping themselves inside his throat. 

_ scrape _

_ sniff _

_ giggle _

Subaru feels angry. The red hot feeling of frustration just keeps welling up and up and up and up and he knows he’ll burst soon but his legs are frozen in place and why can’t he just be happy to be here, like Hokke, even _ for _ Hokke, why is he always the difficult one, and God his neck itches so badly-

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom! Don't have too much fun without me, ok?”

Subarus voice doesnt betray him. It leaves a sour taste in his mouth, knowing that he’s unable to express whatever it is that every cell in his body seems to want to scream out to break through the ambient noise of the café. Ambient noise that at the moment feels like nothing but static in Subarus brain.

As he leaves, he doesn’t notice the added pair of eyes watching him, deep blue and wary.

\---

Hokuto winces at the bright artificial light of the bathroom, a stark contrast to the homely reddish brown and gold tones of the lounge area. Once his eyes adjust to the change he paces down the line of stalls, unsurprised to find one near the end to be the only locked one. He takes a single deep breath, pushing down whatever anxiety has been bubbling up for the ten minute duration of Subarus bathroom break as he knocks on the door. Once, twice.

Theres some shuffling on the other side of the door, but no answer. Hokuto knocks again, slightly more determined this time. 

“So~rry, but this stall is occupied!”

The sing-song voice ringing out from inside is unmistakably Subaru, and Hokuto cant really find any fault in his tone or speech. But he knows better by now than to take Subaru at face value. Or… voice value? Whatever.

“I know,” Hokuto says, his hand now resting on the stall door’s handle. “I just came in to check on you. If something isn’t right, please talk to me.” 

The silence is deafening, and Hokuto starts to wonder if he really just interrupted Subaru in the middle of a genuine visit to the bathroom. His stomach sinks in embarrassment at the thought, but he nervously decides to pry a little further, just in case… and just as he opens his mouth, a reply finally comes.

“Nope! Everything is A-Ok! I just don't think my body was built for that much sugar at once… the portion size at this place is insane, y’know?”

With the amount of junk food subaru consumes on a weekly- if not daily- basis, Hokuto can easily and safely dismiss that as what most people like to refer to as “Bullshit”. However, he figures that Subaru probably has his own reasons to pretend and decides not to push it. 

“We can leave if you want to.” Yes, good. Offer him a way out without trying to get an explanation out of him, and he’ll take you up on it if he needs it. 

“...Are you sure? I mean… Hokke, you-...”

Seriously, what’s wrong with him? Subaru rarely sounds this timid, and it’s not like him not finding the words for any given situation has ever been an issue, unless…

“If you’re worried about the dessert, I can just buy another piece and take it with me back home. What’s important is that you’re comfortable.” He lets his forehead thud gently against the stall door, trying to not think about how many germs undoubtedly crawl across the surface at any given moment. Gross. “We could head to your place instead. Just spending time with you is enough for me, you know that.”

Subaru stays silent at that, and if Hokuto wasnt so close to the door, he would’ve missed the faint sniffle from the other side. 

“Noone else is in here, just you and me. Please, Akehoshi. If you’re not feeling ok, let me in.”

Another beat of silence passes, and then the faint click of the lock turning knocks Hokuto back to his senses. He figured as much. Gently pushing open the door before stepping inside and closing it behind him, he’s now standing right in front of Subaru, who’s pointedly avoiding eye contact as he hugs his knees closer. The way he’s sitting curled up on the closed lid of the seat really can’t be comfortable but Hokuto’s here to listen, not to lecture, so he sits down on his hunches to get on Subarus level.

“Did something happen? ...Was someone whispering about you again?”

Subaru barely shakes his head, gently tapping his ear twice with his left pointer and middle finger before bringing them down along his jawline. _ Meltdown _. 

Hokuto recognizes the homemade sign and hums in response. Talking to Hokuto through the door must’ve drained him enough to finally go nonverbal, and it explains why he’d been stimming so intensely at the table earlier before leaving in a hurry. Hokuto watches Subaru fiddle with the seam on his shorts for a little while, thinking about how to get the both of them back out through the lounge without pushing Subaru right back into breakdown territory.

When he stands up, Subaru looks up at him- eyes unfocused in an attempt to look at Hokutos face without actually having to make eye contact- as he shrugs off his hoodie, holding it out for Subaru to take.

“I’m not sure if you’re comfortable with wearing someone else’s clothes, but I figured it might help dampen some of the sensations on our way out, at least. That’s why you usually wear your hoodie, right?”

Subaru nods slowly, reaching out to pinch the fabric between his hands, testing the texture before gently grabbing it out of Hokutos hands. Hokuto opens the stall door and steps out to give Subaru the space he needs to put the hoodie on, washing his hands while he’s at it. Subaru peeks out of the stall and Hokuto notices that he’s even pulled the hood up over his head, despite how touchy he usually is about things coming into contact with his face and ears when he’s in a bad mood.

“Are you really ok wearing it like that? It’s not... too much?”

Subarus hands quickly reach up towards his face, signing quickly- and a little messily because of the long sleeves- but once Hokuto processes the phrase he feels his face flush.

_ it’s “you” _

_ so, _

_ it’s ok _

He punctuates it by covering his ever-present smile with one of his closed fists, as if stifling a silent laugh. Hokuto clears his throat and tries to will his face to calm down to an acceptable shade as he moves towards the bathroom door, but he’s stopped by a hand pulling at the back of his shirt. Turning back around, he looks over Subarus face and even though his expression hasnt changed, there’s a nervous look in his eyes as he stares beyond Hokuto at the door.

_ are you sure? _

_ hokke, you _

_ you _

_ really wanted- _

“Yes. I’m sure.” Hokuto feels bad interrupting Subaru as he’s signing, but he keeps his voice gentle as he reaches for his hand. He holds it a few inches away so that Subaru can refuse if he isn’t comfortable with physical contact right now, but Subaru places his hand in Hokutos with no hesitation. It might just be his imagination, but when Hokuto gives it a squeeze he swears he sees the smile on Subaru’s face melt into a more genuine one, eyes flitting up towards Hokutos own for just a second.

“Akehoshi, I’m going to open the door now.” He feels his own face mirroring Subarus faint smile as he searches for confirmation.

Subaru nods in response, but when Hokuto pulls the handle and slides the door open Subaru immediately pulls himself closer to Hokutos back for support. He looks down at the shoulder just in front of him, using the pattern of small stars on Hokutos shirt to focus on instead of the feeling of people watching him, 

or the sounds of their cutlery, 

or the prickling at the back of his neck, 

or how hot the room is, 

or-

The rush of fresh air hits Subaru as soon as they step outside, and he feels a breath that he didn’t realize he’d been holding rush past his lips. As Hokuto drags him along and away from the cafe, his laugh reverberates through his arm, quiet yet earthy and warm, all the way into Subarus own hand. Subaru knocks his shoulder into the back of Hokutos own as revenge, and snickers at the small “oof” that he makes, quietly repeating it to himself in amusement.

They settle into a comfortable silence, side by side on their way back to Subarus house. Hokutos hoodie really ended up being a lot more comfortable than Subaru gave it credit for at first glance, fabric smooth and soft and faintly smelling of that weird scent combination that Subaru always makes fun of whenever he visits Hokutos place and sees the shampoo bottle in the bathroom. Subaru’s pretty sure it was peppermint and… lavender? Something old-school but still unexpected like that. It does fit Hokke, though.

The sleeves are pretty long too, he notes. It feels like it looks a lot more oversized on him than it did on Hokuto, but Hokuto’s barely taller than Subaru, so what’s up with that? Does Hokke just have longer arms? Subaru swings their still-linked hands back and forth to check, but is only met with amused confusion from Hokuto. He flashes him a grin in return, and lets the hands fall back between them.

But then he feels Hokuto lace their fingers together, and when he checks the taller boy’s face it’s burning red. He’s pointedly looking away from Subaru, but his blush has spread as far as his ears, so it’s not much help. Subaru blinks a few times before turning his face back down, feeling his own face heat up despite the way he tries to beat down the giddy feeling in his chest.

They make it to the train station with no hassle, most people still out and about and not heading home just yet. They even manage to find a pair of empty seats and Subaru is just about to sit down when he realizes that something isn’t quite right. Hokuto looks at Subaru, worried by the sudden gasp that the other boy had let slip.

“A-Akehoshi...? Are you alright? You didn’t forget anything, did you? I made sure to pack your stuff into my backpack before heading into the bathroom just in case, but-”

Subaru shakes his head quickly, giving Hokuto a pointed look as the train shakes when it departs, and he signs with his free hand.

_ you forgot _

_ to buy _

_ dessert _

“Ah.”

So he did.

\---

When Subarus house comes into view, the two of them awkwardly untangle their hands to let Subaru fumble with his keys until he finally gets the door open to let them both in. He ends up standing around right inside the front door after taking off his shoes, still pretty out of it. Thankfully Hokuto has been here more times than he can count, and is comfortable enough at Subarus place to lead Subaru by the hand to his room. He leaves him sitting on the bed, promising to be back soon as he leaves to go get something to drink.

It’s late summer, so the air is still warm despite it being well into the afternoon. As Hokuto pours two glasses of premade iced tea- good thing Mrs. Akehoshi has good foresight when it comes to these things- he wonders if it was really a good idea to leave Subaru alone in his room. “Well,” he figures, taking a sip of his own glass of tea. (It’s lemon flavored. Hokuto prefers peach.) It’s probably nice for Subaru to settle down a little after everything. It’s not like Hokuto is in a hurry, either. 

When he returns, Subaru has cozied up on his bed, Hokutos hoodie zipped up all the way and pulled up over the lower half of his face. He’s fiddling with a little puzzle cube that Hokuto faintly remembers Makoto getting him as a gift, and judging by the worn edges it’s seen a fair bit of use. He’s tapping both of his feet back and forth to the rhythm of familiar music, humming along until he notices Hokuto standing in the doorway. His face immediately brightens, patting the space next to him on the bed before reaching a hand out for one of the glasses.

Hokuto hands it to him and Subaru happily sips at the tea as Hokuto sits down next to him, careful not to spill his own glass. They drink in silence, only interrupted by the occasional hum from Subaru. Hokuto wonders if he’s gotten whichever song it is genuinely stuck in his head, but Subaru seems content enough even if that’s the case, so he figures it’s fine.

When Subaru finishes his drink, he leans over to place the glass on the bedside table and reaches out to Hokuto again. Hokuto can feel the laughter tugging at the corner of his mouth, but tries to reply as properly as he can anyway.

“No, this glass is mine. But I could head down and refill yours, if you want me to-”

_ no _

_ stupid Hokke _

“Hm?”

_ i want to _

_ hold _

_ your hand _

  


_ idiot _

Hokuto wordlessly places his free hand in Subarus, but he can feel his face burning in embarrassment at both his mistake, and his lack of a good response. He sips his tea in silence as Subaru starts inspecting his fingers, now laced carefully between his own. He plays with one of the rings on Hokutos fingers, inspects a faint mole near his wrist, twists and turns Hokutos hand until Hokuto feels like it doesn’t even belong to himself anymore.

Theres a soft look in Subarus eyes as he gently pulls Hokutos hand up to his face, pressing a slow and soft kiss into the middle of his palm. When Hokuto moves his hand to cup his cheek Subaru leans into the touch, sighing as he brings a hand up to spell out _ nice and cold. _

Hokutos hand travels up, up, until he’s running his fingers through Subarus hair and Subaru closes his eyes, letting Hokuto pamper him as he goes back to humming, the occasional lyric slipping out in the process.

And now Hokuto finally recognizes the song properly, the previous snippets never quite long or coherent enough for him to piece it together. But Subaru is- no doubt- humming along to a silent rendition of Rebellion Star. It’s cheesy and a little bit embarrassing hearing a song that he himself has sung surely hudreds of times, but nevertheless Hokuto’s chest swells with a fondness that he doesn’t quite understand.

Subaru’s pulled out of his trance with an undignified squawk as Hokuto ruffles his hair until it’s a complete mess, and he whines about how 

_ hokke _

_ always _

_ so mean _

between multiple tries of him trying to comb it back into place with his fingers. Hokuto just laughs and apologizes, helping Subaru smooth down his frizzled hair and trying not to find the pouting face glaring up at him from behind debauched orange the least bit cute.

Hokuto usually doesn’t know when to admit defeat, but there’s also no winning with Subaru. 

When Hokuto’s satisfied with his work, he sits back down, hands still resting heavy on each side of Subarus head. He moves to remove them- afraid that he’s overstepping a boundary- but Subaru brings his own hands up to cover them before sticking his tongue out at Hokuto, laughing at the overly offended look he shoots him in response.

There’s no way Hokuto’s gonna let Subaru have the last laugh though, so he leans in to press his lips briefly to Subarus forehead, right over the gap between his eyebrows. The kiss is short and sweet but as Hokuto pulls away, he notices that Subaru’s been stunned into silence-- at least until his eyes widen and start sparkling in that dangerously pretty way that they always do when their owner is faced with shiny trinkets or coins.

His hands slap against Hokutos chest, a chanting rhythm that combined with his wide grin and shining eyes spell out a clear message of

_ again! _

_ again! _

_ again! _

and so Hokuto just huffs out a laugh before leaning in to indulge him.

And with Subarus lips on his own, warm, tasting of sweet citrus, and smiling into the kiss that he’s captured Hokuto in, Hokuto can’t help but feel like no sugar rush could ever hold a candle to how this makes him feel. And maybe that makes him smile back, just a little.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading!! this was written partly as a return gift to my good friend hanbee for writing rarepair content for me, so i feel obligated to at least mention them here :)
> 
> please feel free to follow me on twitter (@sorceted) for uhhhhhhhh some kind of content, hopefully


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